Crossroads (not the box office "flop" starring Britney Spears)

Some people have always had a plan and they know where they’re going. Variables don’t even enter their minds. You know, those people who throughout school say:

"I am going to go to school to be a teacher, then I'll get married, buy a house, and two years later have a kid named [insert name here] and two years later have another named [insert name here]"

and then they somehow make it happen, apparently never veering from their “destiny”. They take their coffee to work in the same insulated mug everyday, bring it home, and wash it out for the next day’s use. To me that is impressive. If I see someone repeatedly use the same insulated beverage container I think “that person has it together”.

Now, you know where I am going with this. I have never had it together like that. I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I graduated high school, and submitted an application to USF at 11:30pm the day of the freshman application cutoff. Then, even though I was accepted and went to school there, it only lasted 4 days before I took an opportunity in Washington, DC. Then I meet James, drop out of the program and marry him. I then get a job, and decide after enjoying said job, that I need to go back to school. So, here I am 2 and a half years later, in Florida again, about to graduate with my bachelor’s degree. I am at a crossroads, once again, and am not sure what is going to happen. A job would be nice. But now I am tossing around the idea of grad school, or culinary school (just in my head…), or maybe creating my own business.

Now, there are also those who lack ambition… you know, the type. It takes them 6 years to complete community college while they work at Barnes and Noble and complain about money being tight. I don’t want you to confuse my type with the ambitionless. People like me have ambition, we often lack direction. Perhaps we don’t really want direction.

Now, as I write I am not looking for guidance, or even sympathy for that matter. I have just realized that I really admire the people who are structured enough to create a plan, follow through, use the same mug everyday, and maintain order. Good for them!
But for the rest of us…

Will we ever settle into a pattern or routine? Can we ever be structured? Do we want to be?