Go to bed angry!

In my conflict management class today, the professor briefly mentioned the popular piece of advice that states “you should never go to bed angry.” This is most often told to couples who are soon to wed, coming as solid advice from well-meaning, married, “experts”. (Obviously, I say that facetiously. Most often, I have noticed that this advice comes from old, bitter people who don’t seem to view their matrimony as “blissful” or anything relatively close--but again, it’s just an observation.)

I say “go to bed angry”! Yes, I said it—I broke the rule. I thought about this a lot, and it means enough to me to spend 10 minutes blogging, so hear me out.

In the heat of the moment, when you are angry, you’re least open for considering plausible solutions or collaborating on a resolution. Often, one person will accommodate the other (sometimes begrudgingly) so that the two can go to bed at peace with one another.

My advice is to summarize the issues at hand, and agree to go to bed and discuss the issue over a pot of coffee in the morning.

Perhaps when the red of anger has cleared and a new day has begun, the parties are more open and available to come up with options and win-win solutions.

So, go to bed angry, but only after you have made plans to discuss the issues when anger is no longer so strong.